August 8th, 2002
Dear Sirs,
Please accept my humble obeisances. I am very angry that you refused to run my article about my problem with my guru. As I told you in the story I spent many hours writing and rewriting how he kept stringing me along for over five years telling me how he was definitely going to get a divorce from his wife and marry me. He kept getting cheaper and cheaper hotel rooms for us to meet at and the jewelry gifts went from Tiffiny to costume cubic zirconia. Then after all of that humiliation he tells me that he can't marrry me after all because it would not be Vedic for him to marry his own disciple.
Then I ask him which Veda says that and he just tells me how I am in maya and don't see the big picture and how I should just surrender to Prabhupada's movement and stop just thinking of myself. He would not even use a condom and I always had to take the pill and use a diaphragm, plus he really was not very good in bed. I think my story should be told and you have just ignored me. I do not understand.
Sincerely,
L.D.D.
Dear L.D.D.
First of all, what are humble obeisances? Secondly, it is not our policy to print any articles without being able to verify the facts. If we were to just print every juicy story that comes along, then our readers would start to doubt the integrity of our publication.
If you can at least furnish some other proof about this story (photographs, letters, receipts from jewelry stores, anything more than just the story you sent us), then we could reconsider printing your article. Until then keep with the humble obeisances, whatever that is and don't lose hope. You might just bring us the next Pulitzer prize winning piece or the celebrity scandal photo of the century.
Sincerely,
NEHKE Editor in Chief
Showing posts with label fake gurus. Show all posts
Showing posts with label fake gurus. Show all posts
Sunday, February 1, 2009
Tuesday, January 20, 2009
Hare Krisha Guru - the New Prajapati?
July 29, 2002
Tokyo, Japan
Japanese authorities have arrested an America man, J. Swami, who has been a guru in the Hare Krishna movement for the past several years, for multiple counts of bigamy.
The arrest was prompted by a civil class action paternity suit brought against the man by several hundred individuals that claim to have been fathered by him both in and out of wedlock. A spokeswoman for the Krishnas told reporters, 'He just had philosophical misunderstandings, that's all. He missed the point that our god Krishna could have sixteen thousand wives, but that such an activity is not bonafide for conditioned souls like us. As long as he keeps on chanting, he will overcome these anarthas.
Luckily he has amassed enough wealth to settle the pending litigation to everyone's satisfaction, and without any appreciable harm to the centers within his zone.' Criminal charges against Mr. Swami allege that he married over fifty different women in thirty different countries over a ten year period, and that he cleverly covered his tracks so that none of his wives would find out about any of the others. There was a break in the case when one of his illegitimate children had a DNA test done and started investigating the paternity of many of the other offspring of the man.
Tokyo, Japan
Japanese authorities have arrested an America man, J. Swami, who has been a guru in the Hare Krishna movement for the past several years, for multiple counts of bigamy.
The arrest was prompted by a civil class action paternity suit brought against the man by several hundred individuals that claim to have been fathered by him both in and out of wedlock. A spokeswoman for the Krishnas told reporters, 'He just had philosophical misunderstandings, that's all. He missed the point that our god Krishna could have sixteen thousand wives, but that such an activity is not bonafide for conditioned souls like us. As long as he keeps on chanting, he will overcome these anarthas.
Luckily he has amassed enough wealth to settle the pending litigation to everyone's satisfaction, and without any appreciable harm to the centers within his zone.' Criminal charges against Mr. Swami allege that he married over fifty different women in thirty different countries over a ten year period, and that he cleverly covered his tracks so that none of his wives would find out about any of the others. There was a break in the case when one of his illegitimate children had a DNA test done and started investigating the paternity of many of the other offspring of the man.
Friday, January 16, 2009
Enron Executive Leads a Double Life as a Hare Krishna Swami
July 24, 2002
Houston, TX
Ex-Enron executive Gary K. Smith has been leading a double life. Monday through Friday he would head into his office at the notorious Enron Corporation and on weekends he would head over to a local Hare Krishna center to pose as his alter ego, Gulabjamunananda Swami, to receive worship from his disciples and spout Hare Krishna philosophy from a lavish jewel encrusted throne.
He had a special skin head wig with a pony tail on it custom made so he could disguise himself a as a Hindu holy man. His tailor would sew silk Hindu shirts for him in between orders for his Armani suits that he wore to work at his day job. His secret was discovered when his wife, who suspected he was having extramarital affairs (since she never saw him on weekends), had him followed by a private detective. The Krishnas thought that he was off preaching in the Pacific Rim during the week and jetting back and forth on his private Lear jet.
Authorities are now looking for Smith, who is wanted for questioning over the recent scandals at Enron. It is believed that he left the country for some unknown destination on his jet without filing the customary flight plans as expected. They are following leads at various Krishna communities around the globe where he could be hiding out. The FBI also is looking for him on account of huge quantities of illegal drugs found in a secret sub basement at his lavish Houston mansion.
Also discovered in the sub basement were several Texas prostitutes locked in various chambers who claim that Smith was holding them to be sold into slavery in harems over in Arab countries. One of them told reporters, 'He has this weird weekly ritual where he would make us jump into a big vat of sugar water and then proceed to lick it off of us, calling us his little gulab jamuns. Then he would make us chant Hare Krishna a hundred times and tell us all our sins had been wiped away.'
One of his disciples told the press in a recent interview, 'He kept using the Enron examples in his lectures, and it was getting more and more frequent up until his disappearance a few weeks ago. He also came into the temple with very sticky hands on Saturday morning, muttering something about 'naughty ladies' and then requesting a bowl of warm water to rinse them off in.'
Houston, TX
Ex-Enron executive Gary K. Smith has been leading a double life. Monday through Friday he would head into his office at the notorious Enron Corporation and on weekends he would head over to a local Hare Krishna center to pose as his alter ego, Gulabjamunananda Swami, to receive worship from his disciples and spout Hare Krishna philosophy from a lavish jewel encrusted throne.
He had a special skin head wig with a pony tail on it custom made so he could disguise himself a as a Hindu holy man. His tailor would sew silk Hindu shirts for him in between orders for his Armani suits that he wore to work at his day job. His secret was discovered when his wife, who suspected he was having extramarital affairs (since she never saw him on weekends), had him followed by a private detective. The Krishnas thought that he was off preaching in the Pacific Rim during the week and jetting back and forth on his private Lear jet.
Authorities are now looking for Smith, who is wanted for questioning over the recent scandals at Enron. It is believed that he left the country for some unknown destination on his jet without filing the customary flight plans as expected. They are following leads at various Krishna communities around the globe where he could be hiding out. The FBI also is looking for him on account of huge quantities of illegal drugs found in a secret sub basement at his lavish Houston mansion.
Also discovered in the sub basement were several Texas prostitutes locked in various chambers who claim that Smith was holding them to be sold into slavery in harems over in Arab countries. One of them told reporters, 'He has this weird weekly ritual where he would make us jump into a big vat of sugar water and then proceed to lick it off of us, calling us his little gulab jamuns. Then he would make us chant Hare Krishna a hundred times and tell us all our sins had been wiped away.'
One of his disciples told the press in a recent interview, 'He kept using the Enron examples in his lectures, and it was getting more and more frequent up until his disappearance a few weeks ago. He also came into the temple with very sticky hands on Saturday morning, muttering something about 'naughty ladies' and then requesting a bowl of warm water to rinse them off in.'
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