Hare Krishna Preacher Attempts to Expand His Flock

August 10, 2002
San Diego, CA

Zookeeper Charles Dalton began his early morning chores as usual this morning, but was in for a surprise when he went into the ape house to serve breakfast to the primates. He heard a young girl shouting to her parents, 'Look Mommy, Daddy that one ape has a ponytail.' Dalton looked over in their direction and spotted a naked Hare Krishna monk sitting on the branch of one of the fake trees and giving a sermon to an orangutan named Susie. 'You are not this body. You are a spirit soul. You need to give up this maya and shave up and move into the temple.' he heard the monk telling the ape, who just picked lint from the monk's eyebrows and sniffed his butt, oblivious to the words of wisdom.

Dalton shouted, 'Hey what the hell are you doing in there!' The monk shouted out in alarm, 'Quick, the demons have spotted us. We must make our escape!' and started tugging at the large ape's arm. Susie took this as an invitation for play and began wrestling with the monk, who kept shouting, 'No, you don't understand. I am here to liberate you from the cycle of birth and death and show you the way back to Godhead!' Dalton summoned some other zookeepers to help him separate the two and they tied up the monk with some rope and called the police. The monk, Banara Das, 25, has been charged with trespassing and public indecency.