San Francisco, California
June 29, 2002
Fifi the poodle has filed suit against her owner, Mrs. H.K. Das in an unprecedented legal maneuver. The suit alleges that Mrs. Das was responsible for her husband, a minister for a local church run by the Hare Krishna sect, on several occasions chasing Fifi (a bitch, or female dog) around the house in attempt to procure sexual favors.
According to the sect's religious doctrine, married couples are prohibited from having intercourse more often than once a month. The suit alleges that many of the defendants claimed to be having sex as often as eight times a day, and several of them claimed to be having extramarital affairs with as many as three dozen other sect members.
The plaintiff, Mrs. H.K. Das, told reporters, "He has never really been very good in bed to begin with. My boyfriend is a much better lover. To have to sleep with him more than once a month is just hellish."
Showing posts with label sex. Show all posts
Showing posts with label sex. Show all posts
Thursday, January 1, 2009
Wednesday, December 31, 2008
Minister's Wife Sues Congregation
San Francisco, California
June 28th, 2002
The wife of a the minister at a local Krishna sect church here has filed suit in the federal circuit court against sixty four members of the church's congregation. The suit alleges that the defendants in the action caused her husband to become a sex maniac with their exaggerated tales of having frequent sex with their spouses.
According to the sect's religious doctrine, married couples are prohibited from having intercourse more often than once a month. The suit alleges that many of the defendants claimed to be having sex as often as eight times a day, and several of them claimed to be having extramarital affairs with as many as three dozen other sect members.
The plaintiff, Mrs. H.K. Das, told reporters, "He has never really been very good in bed to begin with. My boyfriend is a much better lover. To have to sleep with him more than once a month is just hellish."
June 28th, 2002
The wife of a the minister at a local Krishna sect church here has filed suit in the federal circuit court against sixty four members of the church's congregation. The suit alleges that the defendants in the action caused her husband to become a sex maniac with their exaggerated tales of having frequent sex with their spouses.
According to the sect's religious doctrine, married couples are prohibited from having intercourse more often than once a month. The suit alleges that many of the defendants claimed to be having sex as often as eight times a day, and several of them claimed to be having extramarital affairs with as many as three dozen other sect members.
The plaintiff, Mrs. H.K. Das, told reporters, "He has never really been very good in bed to begin with. My boyfriend is a much better lover. To have to sleep with him more than once a month is just hellish."
Monday, December 29, 2008
Krishna Man Sues Himself
San Francisco, California
June 27th, 2002
A local minister in the Hare Krishna sect has filed a lawsuit with himself named as the both plaintiff and defendant in the federal circuit court here yesterday. The suit alleges that he broke his vow not to have sex with his wife more than once a month and is therefore entitled to punitive damages against himself for the pain and suffering he has caused to his congregation.
In a motion to dismiss by his defense attorney on the grounds that the lawsuit is frivolous, his attorney that is prosecuting the case argued that his client actually two people by the tenets of his own faith. One is his 'spirit soul' and the other is his 'false ego'. He further argued that it was the false ego self that broke the vow and that the spirit soul self is not entitle to damages.
Justice Berk T. V. Noad has take the matter under advisement and will issue a ruling by the end of the next week, after he has had a chance to review the doctrines of the Krishna sect's church.
June 27th, 2002
A local minister in the Hare Krishna sect has filed a lawsuit with himself named as the both plaintiff and defendant in the federal circuit court here yesterday. The suit alleges that he broke his vow not to have sex with his wife more than once a month and is therefore entitled to punitive damages against himself for the pain and suffering he has caused to his congregation.
In a motion to dismiss by his defense attorney on the grounds that the lawsuit is frivolous, his attorney that is prosecuting the case argued that his client actually two people by the tenets of his own faith. One is his 'spirit soul' and the other is his 'false ego'. He further argued that it was the false ego self that broke the vow and that the spirit soul self is not entitle to damages.
Justice Berk T. V. Noad has take the matter under advisement and will issue a ruling by the end of the next week, after he has had a chance to review the doctrines of the Krishna sect's church.
Friday, December 26, 2008
Hare Krishnas Purchase Nevada Brothel
July 15, 2002
Las Vegas, NV
The International Society for Krishna Consciousness (AKA the Hare Krishna movement) has just purchased a failing house of ill repute eighty miles south of Las Vegas, The Sinderella Palace. There has already been a schism between the acquired employees and the new management over dress codes.
The Krishnas expect the ladies to greet guests at the door in traditional Indian saris instead of the usual Victoria's Secret and Fredricks of Hollywood attire they have invested much of their earnings on recently. They have been told that they have to purchase expensive saris with gold trim out of their own pockets and that this will liberate them from the cycle of birth, death and rebirth, on account of the proceeds going to the mission of their founder, Swami Prabhupada, whom they believe to be the incarnation of the Hindu god Vishnu.
Madame Cleo Torus told reporters, "The whole sari thing is not the worst part, its those Hare Krishna men who expect us to do all kinds of kinky things for money. Most of our girls are only into straight sex, and they deliver the goods in a professional manner. Of course they do give us extra tips not to tell their wives that they have been using our services, but that does not make up for their lack of personal hygiene. I heard they do not even use toilet paper most of the time. Ick!"
Las Vegas, NV
The International Society for Krishna Consciousness (AKA the Hare Krishna movement) has just purchased a failing house of ill repute eighty miles south of Las Vegas, The Sinderella Palace. There has already been a schism between the acquired employees and the new management over dress codes.
The Krishnas expect the ladies to greet guests at the door in traditional Indian saris instead of the usual Victoria's Secret and Fredricks of Hollywood attire they have invested much of their earnings on recently. They have been told that they have to purchase expensive saris with gold trim out of their own pockets and that this will liberate them from the cycle of birth, death and rebirth, on account of the proceeds going to the mission of their founder, Swami Prabhupada, whom they believe to be the incarnation of the Hindu god Vishnu.
Madame Cleo Torus told reporters, "The whole sari thing is not the worst part, its those Hare Krishna men who expect us to do all kinds of kinky things for money. Most of our girls are only into straight sex, and they deliver the goods in a professional manner. Of course they do give us extra tips not to tell their wives that they have been using our services, but that does not make up for their lack of personal hygiene. I heard they do not even use toilet paper most of the time. Ick!"
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