Family Pet Sues Owner

San Francisco, California
June 29, 2002

Fifi the poodle has filed suit against her owner, Mrs. H.K. Das in an unprecedented legal maneuver. The suit alleges that Mrs. Das was responsible for her husband, a minister for a local church run by the Hare Krishna sect, on several occasions chasing Fifi (a bitch, or female dog) around the house in attempt to procure sexual favors.

According to the sect's religious doctrine, married couples are prohibited from having intercourse more often than once a month. The suit alleges that many of the defendants claimed to be having sex as often as eight times a day, and several of them claimed to be having extramarital affairs with as many as three dozen other sect members.

The plaintiff, Mrs. H.K. Das, told reporters, "He has never really been very good in bed to begin with. My boyfriend is a much better lover. To have to sleep with him more than once a month is just hellish."