Hare Krishna Swami Mounts Cyber Offensive Against Rivals

August 1, 2002

An American disciple of an Indian guru, Swami Sue White-tailed Deer, has recently published an article on his website that alleges disqualifications of the guru of a rival group. Sources could not verify whether or not Deer is of Native American descent or male or female gender.

All they would say is that clues are to be found in the song 'A Boy Named Sue' by country singer Johnny Cash. According to reports Deer went on a rampage after surfing to a website by a rival sect and finding statements that discredited his own group. He then went into his cell at the monastery and locked himself in for three days, furiously trying to find any scandals on the rival group. He failed to turn up any leads, and so hired a private detective firm outside of London to rummage through trash cans in various villages in India.

After several months had elapsed and his budget had run out, he stopped the investigation, which had failed to bring in anything he could use. Then one morning he ran into a meeting of his fellow Swamis and exclaimed, "I know what we can do! We'll make fun of the guru's name!" One of the group replied, "Uh, Swamiji. Do you think that is really the right strategy''
"Do you have a better idea'' countered Deer.
"Uh, not really. Hey, go for it!"